TO TRAIN UP A CHILD


Evan and I started reading through this book again, for at least the second time. He sits in bed tying flies, while I read aloud to him. Our children are all at such different stages, and we were starting to think we needed a refresher course on training. Kiana (our 11 month old) is at the stage of desperately needing some training. I feel like we've started "booty" camp at the Van Order household these past few days again! I know in the long run, we will be so thankful, though!

One of the biggest points this book gives is that, "No amount of discipline can make up for a lack of training. Proper training always works with every child. To neglect training is to create miserable circumstances for you and your child. Out of ignorance many have bypassed training and expected discipline alone to effect proper behavior. It hasn't worked (page 2)."

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6)." "Train up -- not beat up. Train up -- not discipline up...Parents should not wait until their child's behavior becomes unacceptable before they commence training -- which would be discipline... Training is the conditioning of the child's mind before the crisis arises (page 4)."

I absolutely love the section called "Plant your tree in the midst of the garden" on page 5. It talks about how the forbidden tree was not placed out of Adam and Eve's reach, but they were directly exposed to the temptation. The tree was called the "knowledge of good and evil" meaning that "by exercising their wills not to eat, they would have learned the meaning of "good" as well as "evil" (page 5)." Their whole point is to "Home-proof your child", not "Child-proof your home" (page 6).

So, where do I start? CONSISTENCY! That is the key word, and one in which I struggle with on a daily basis. We have trained Myah and Joel to come the first time they're called and in the next few months, we will work on that with Kiana. Currently, I am working on complete obedience the first time it's asked with M & J, like picking up toys and doing a thorough job of it. (If I would have been consistant all along, I wouldn't need to still be working on this!) Myah and Joel have also recently starting their sibling spats. I am trying to teach them to play nicely and to work through their own issues in a calm manner. (We have had many training sessions on this very thing already this morning and it's only 10am! We have a ways to go on this one!)

Kiana is learning that she cannot go into the bathroom, unless it's bath or potty time. (I want to prevent objects from floating in the toilet, her falling head first into the bathtub and her mouth from sucking on the toilet bowl as well.) She is learning not to touch things when Mommy or Daddy says "no touch". She has been trained to go to sleep when I lay her in her crib and cover her up with her blanket. One thing I need to re-train her in is that she doesn't get picked up everytime she lays at my feet and cries. I have given in to her on this one, and need to teach her that I will pick her up, but not when she does this. This is my own fault, and I often wonder why I have a whiney baby at my feet when I'm trying to make dinner! I have trained her to do just that!

Oh, I have so much to learn! But God gives us wisdom when we ask Him for it, and that is the very first step, I believe, in training our children.