ETERNALLY INFLUENCING YOUR CHILDREN -- PART 1

Our ladies Bible study recently had a brunch where this was the topic discussed.  Also, our mom's group at church recently came to our place for their weekly gathering, and we held the same topic of discussion.  God has been impressing on my heart lately to really help other moms be purposeful about how to do this.  This will be the first of 4 posts on this subject, as we will discuss these 4 things:

1) Be Accurate
2) Be Purposeful
3) Be Prayerful
4) Be Obedient

Today I will share about being acurate in what we teach our children.  The goal here is to avoid false conversions in the lives of our children.  Many of these thoughts came from Ray Comfort's book "How To Bring Your Children To Christ & Keep Them There" -- a book I cannot recommend enough!!

1. Do not grasp at false ideas to make yourself feel better about your child’s salvation.
2. Make sure your children understand sin and repentance.
     • Teach them the 10 commandments.
     • Teach them the necessity of repentance – turning FROM sin TO the Savior.
     • Matt. 3:2, 4:17 “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is near.” -- Both John the Baptist & Jesus' first words in their preaching was "repent".
     • Repentance is not an optional part of salvation.
           Luke 13:3 “Unless you repent you will all likewise perish.”
           Acts 17:30 God himself “commands all men everywhere to repent.”


3. Eternal life does not come from saying a prayer, or making a decision, but from “repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ” (Acts 20:21).


     • From pg 129 of Comfort's book, "As long as there are no complications when a child is born, all the doctor needs to do is guide the head.  The same applies spiritually.  When someone is "born of God," all we need to do is guide the head -- make sure that the person understands what he is doing."

4. Genuine salvation is a work of God.
     • “We can have as much a part in the spiritual birth of our children as we have in the planting of a tree. We can prepare the soil & water the seed, but it will grow only if God sees fit to cause it to do so. All we can do is make ready the soil of the child’s heart, plant the pure seed of the Word of God, keep away harmful influences, and faithfully water it with believing prayer” (Ray Comfort).
     • Just like David took personal responsibility for his sin, our children must do the same. Rather than lead them in a prayer, have them pray themselves. Words aren’t as important as godly sorrow.
           a. 2 Cor. 7:10 “For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.”
          b. I have had my children go to their room & spend some time b/t them and God after a needed discussion on repentance. Let it be between them and God.
     • When your children make a profession where it appears that they have come to repentance & faith, then talk to them about the tests of assurance of salvation given in 1 John. Talk about the fact that there will be a new relationship with sin & fruit will be evident in their lives.
          a. We are called to “Work out our salvation with fear & trembling.” We are also called to “make our calling and election sure.” It is not something we take lightly, or can proclaim for someone else. Working it out is their job for them, and your job for you. Don’t base your assurance on an experience you had… make sure your life lines up with Scripture, and encourage your children to do the same.

THAT HORRIBLE "V" WORD DEBATE...

I read this book almost cover to cover in 2 days, and I would HIGHLY recommend reading it. I also had this really long post written with my thoughts on it all, but lost it all when I went to post it....hmm... anyway, I'll try to get some of my thoughts written again, but it might be a while. I did want to recommend this book, however. It gives OODLES of information on everything you would want to know about vaccines from an un-biased perspective. I found it very helpful!

THINKING BACK A BIT

Aden's birth has been very special to me for more reasons than just the normal joy of giving birth. I think it has a lot to do with losing Josiah 1-1/2 years ago. (To read my story, go to Jan. 2007 archives.) Today I was going through a bunch of stuff, and found the book I put together with all our memories of him. I just cried, of course. It's amazing how raw those feelings are even after this much time has gone by. I read through some e-mails & cards, but what got me most was my journaling. I am so thankful I wrote as much down as I did. It was such an amazing way to process things and grieve. Even reading through it all today was healing as I was able to see how I've grown through the experience and the time that has gone by. Aden has not replaced him by any means, and that was very obvious with my emotions today, but I am so thankful to have him in my arms. He is my sunshine behind the dark clouds I experienced for what seemed like a very long time and I praise God for him. He is another precious blessing from God!

One thing that I don't think will ever change is how difficult it is to answer when people ask me how many kids I have. I don't want to leave Josiah out of the bunch, as he is definitely one of my children, but sometimes it's still painful to bring up that I have 5 kids and then have to explain how we lost one. One thing I did have instilled even deeper into me is how each child is such a blessing from the Lord. No matter how long we have with them, no matter how difficult or easy they are, God has a plan for each one. I am thankful for each and every blessing he passes our way and am so eager to see God's faithfulness in their lives and see how He uses them for His kingdom purposes.

A BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE

I was just glancing through an old journal that I had written in just about one year ago. I found something I wrote one evening out of some frustration with the stubbornness I was dealing with at the time with one of my children. I felt led to share it thinking maybe someone else out there may be blessed by it.

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Just got a vision of a painting. It's in the beginning stages. There are parts that don't make sense yet -- splotches of color that don't go together and haven't formed a picture. To anyone other than the artist, it looks like a mess. But the artist knows what He is doing. He will take all the things that look so terrible and turn it into a beautiful masterpiece fit for the finest of His rooms.

There are some parts already so beautiful, you can't deny them. The yellows, oranges and reds that are already coming into focus. I love that warm fuzzy feeling you get when your eyes fall on this part of the canvas. It all takes time and patience. It takes consistency to finish the artwork. It takes discipline. Sometimes you might have to paint over a color not fit for the end, but blended together with just the right color, the perfect color comes to the surface.

The end product -- something so exquisit, no one could even have pictured it along the way.

God, thank you for making us all into masterpieces. Help me to see beyond the dark splotches that you are working on and see the beauty already painted on the canvas. My hope is in you, Lord, the artist behind the canvas of each of my children. I trust that you will turn them all into beautiful masterpieces fit for the finest roles in your kingdom.

MY DAUGHTER...

My oldest has had me confused, frustrated and at my wits end with thinking about being a parent these past few days. I'm realizing my frustrations with her go way beyond homeschooling, though it was definitely shining through in that category as well. For a while, I was just thinking it was homeschooling that had me in turmoil, but after being on my knees, having a conversation with a friend, and reading 2 small chapters in a book, I think I'm seeing MY problem (not hers...) come to the light. My little girl is growing up. She's beginning to need some different types of parenting than what I've been giving her for the past 6 years. We (me especially...Evan seems to have worked through this without much thought, I think. He's always calm, involved and at a place of good relationships with the kids...) need to change our parenting style to fit the needs of my little girl who isn't as little anymore. For all these years, it's been teaching her to obey because it's what she's suppose to do. Somehow, only with God's help, it is now coming to the point where she needs have the character in her to obey out of her own heart -- not just because mommy and daddy said so. (Though I still see that as being a part of it, just in a different light.....)

I picked up an old book that I haven't read for probably 6 years, and read the 2 chapters that pertained to 5-12 year olds. (Ted Tripp's "Shepherding a Child's Heart") I've been prompted to do so before, but never wanted to face more condemnation that so many parenting books can give, even though they aren't intended to. I wasn't condemned in any way, just encouraged to look at my daughter differently. We have already been talking about character qualities in our schooling, but this encouraged me to look specifically at HER life and see where her strengths and weaknesses are.

Today, for much of our school time, we sat and had a heart to heart. I realized the first thing I needed to do was get my relationship restored with her after a couple very tough days. We made hot chocolate and just talked. We talked about school, God, how she sees herself and how she relates to others. She really opened up to me, and this gave me a great insight on where to go and how to change.

Parenting is the toughest job on this earth, and it's the one thing we get so little training in. I'm thankful for God's Word and his wisdom for guidance, but tomorrow will come, and I may feel lost again. Then I just get up and start all over, I guess. I'm just thankful that I can trust that God is leading, because I ask Him to every day. I could never do this on my own.