GOD'S CAKE
I received this on an e-mail today, and though I've heard it before, I was blessed by reading it again....thought you might be to.
Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake!"
"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck" says her daughter.
"How about a couple raw eggs?"
"Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Mom, those are all yucky!"
To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!"
God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!
God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
MY DAUGHTER...
My oldest has had me confused, frustrated and at my wits end with thinking about being a parent these past few days. I'm realizing my frustrations with her go way beyond homeschooling, though it was definitely shining through in that category as well. For a while, I was just thinking it was homeschooling that had me in turmoil, but after being on my knees, having a conversation with a friend, and reading 2 small chapters in a book, I think I'm seeing MY problem (not hers...) come to the light. My little girl is growing up. She's beginning to need some different types of parenting than what I've been giving her for the past 6 years. We (me especially...Evan seems to have worked through this without much thought, I think. He's always calm, involved and at a place of good relationships with the kids...) need to change our parenting style to fit the needs of my little girl who isn't as little anymore. For all these years, it's been teaching her to obey because it's what she's suppose to do. Somehow, only with God's help, it is now coming to the point where she needs have the character in her to obey out of her own heart -- not just because mommy and daddy said so. (Though I still see that as being a part of it, just in a different light.....)
I picked up an old book that I haven't read for probably 6 years, and read the 2 chapters that pertained to 5-12 year olds. (Ted Tripp's "Shepherding a Child's Heart") I've been prompted to do so before, but never wanted to face more condemnation that so many parenting books can give, even though they aren't intended to. I wasn't condemned in any way, just encouraged to look at my daughter differently. We have already been talking about character qualities in our schooling, but this encouraged me to look specifically at HER life and see where her strengths and weaknesses are.
Today, for much of our school time, we sat and had a heart to heart. I realized the first thing I needed to do was get my relationship restored with her after a couple very tough days. We made hot chocolate and just talked. We talked about school, God, how she sees herself and how she relates to others. She really opened up to me, and this gave me a great insight on where to go and how to change.
Parenting is the toughest job on this earth, and it's the one thing we get so little training in. I'm thankful for God's Word and his wisdom for guidance, but tomorrow will come, and I may feel lost again. Then I just get up and start all over, I guess. I'm just thankful that I can trust that God is leading, because I ask Him to every day. I could never do this on my own.
My oldest has had me confused, frustrated and at my wits end with thinking about being a parent these past few days. I'm realizing my frustrations with her go way beyond homeschooling, though it was definitely shining through in that category as well. For a while, I was just thinking it was homeschooling that had me in turmoil, but after being on my knees, having a conversation with a friend, and reading 2 small chapters in a book, I think I'm seeing MY problem (not hers...) come to the light. My little girl is growing up. She's beginning to need some different types of parenting than what I've been giving her for the past 6 years. We (me especially...Evan seems to have worked through this without much thought, I think. He's always calm, involved and at a place of good relationships with the kids...) need to change our parenting style to fit the needs of my little girl who isn't as little anymore. For all these years, it's been teaching her to obey because it's what she's suppose to do. Somehow, only with God's help, it is now coming to the point where she needs have the character in her to obey out of her own heart -- not just because mommy and daddy said so. (Though I still see that as being a part of it, just in a different light.....)
I picked up an old book that I haven't read for probably 6 years, and read the 2 chapters that pertained to 5-12 year olds. (Ted Tripp's "Shepherding a Child's Heart") I've been prompted to do so before, but never wanted to face more condemnation that so many parenting books can give, even though they aren't intended to. I wasn't condemned in any way, just encouraged to look at my daughter differently. We have already been talking about character qualities in our schooling, but this encouraged me to look specifically at HER life and see where her strengths and weaknesses are.
Today, for much of our school time, we sat and had a heart to heart. I realized the first thing I needed to do was get my relationship restored with her after a couple very tough days. We made hot chocolate and just talked. We talked about school, God, how she sees herself and how she relates to others. She really opened up to me, and this gave me a great insight on where to go and how to change.
Parenting is the toughest job on this earth, and it's the one thing we get so little training in. I'm thankful for God's Word and his wisdom for guidance, but tomorrow will come, and I may feel lost again. Then I just get up and start all over, I guess. I'm just thankful that I can trust that God is leading, because I ask Him to every day. I could never do this on my own.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
MY JESUS
by Todd Agnew
Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?
Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?
Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand
Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?
Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet
Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him
Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?
Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like my Jesus
by Todd Agnew
Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?
Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?
Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand
Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?
Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet
Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him
Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?
Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like my Jesus
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
"DO YOU TRUST ME?"
These words have been all but audible to me these past several weeks. I know that God has been asking me this question over and over again. I've heard it many times, and in many different circumstances. His quiet, sweet Spirit has been whispering it to me.....
Do you trust me with my timing for taking Josiah?
Do you trust that I had a reason?
Do you trust that my plan is bigger than you can see?
Do you trust that I will take care of him?
Do you trust that I know what I'm doing?
DO you trust me?
Do you trust me with the sale of your house? (even if it sells before the other one is ready?)
Do you trust me with your finances?
Do you trust me with this open door?
Do you trust me that I'm leading you each step of the way?
Do you trust me that my timing is perfect?
Do YOU trust me?
Do you trust me with my plans for your children?
Do you trust me for their well-being?
Do you trust me for their salvation?
Do you trust me with their lives?
Do you trust me with their futures?
Do you trust that I'm in control?
Do you TRUST me?
Do you trust me in all circumstances?
Do you trust that I'm your provider?
Do you trust me in the details of life?
Do you trust that I truly love and care about you?
Do you trust me to keep leading you?
Do you trust ME?
.... and today I was able to answer, YES, LORD, I TRUST YOU! I trust that you have a plan to work the good from Josiah's death. I TRUST you to be leading us through our house change. I trust YOU to take care of every detail of my children's life and to glorify yourself through their walk and time on this earth. I TRUST YOU to provide wisdom, knowledge and understanding, even more than you provide for our needs. I do trust you, Lord.
I was able to answer God today on my way to Billings to bring Joel to speech therapy. The sun was just coming up over the horizon and shining His glory on the priaries around me. The snowy mountains glistened in all God's splendor. He was visible every direction my eyes could look. He was revealing himself to me and gently saying, "you can trust me.... my light is what radiates from the sun, and I do it every day. I created all this around you and control every aspect of it. And I love you more than you could ever imagine...do you trust me?" And I was able to say yes, Lord. Lead on. Just like the Israelites had to keep their eyes on the cloud by day and the fire by night, I will do my best to not take my eyes off you. I will walk by faith and not by sight, b/c when I walk by sight, things fall apart. I TRUST YOU!
These words have been all but audible to me these past several weeks. I know that God has been asking me this question over and over again. I've heard it many times, and in many different circumstances. His quiet, sweet Spirit has been whispering it to me.....
Do you trust me with my timing for taking Josiah?
Do you trust that I had a reason?
Do you trust that my plan is bigger than you can see?
Do you trust that I will take care of him?
Do you trust that I know what I'm doing?
DO you trust me?
Do you trust me with the sale of your house? (even if it sells before the other one is ready?)
Do you trust me with your finances?
Do you trust me with this open door?
Do you trust me that I'm leading you each step of the way?
Do you trust me that my timing is perfect?
Do YOU trust me?
Do you trust me with my plans for your children?
Do you trust me for their well-being?
Do you trust me for their salvation?
Do you trust me with their lives?
Do you trust me with their futures?
Do you trust that I'm in control?
Do you TRUST me?
Do you trust me in all circumstances?
Do you trust that I'm your provider?
Do you trust me in the details of life?
Do you trust that I truly love and care about you?
Do you trust me to keep leading you?
Do you trust ME?
.... and today I was able to answer, YES, LORD, I TRUST YOU! I trust that you have a plan to work the good from Josiah's death. I TRUST you to be leading us through our house change. I trust YOU to take care of every detail of my children's life and to glorify yourself through their walk and time on this earth. I TRUST YOU to provide wisdom, knowledge and understanding, even more than you provide for our needs. I do trust you, Lord.
I was able to answer God today on my way to Billings to bring Joel to speech therapy. The sun was just coming up over the horizon and shining His glory on the priaries around me. The snowy mountains glistened in all God's splendor. He was visible every direction my eyes could look. He was revealing himself to me and gently saying, "you can trust me.... my light is what radiates from the sun, and I do it every day. I created all this around you and control every aspect of it. And I love you more than you could ever imagine...do you trust me?" And I was able to say yes, Lord. Lead on. Just like the Israelites had to keep their eyes on the cloud by day and the fire by night, I will do my best to not take my eyes off you. I will walk by faith and not by sight, b/c when I walk by sight, things fall apart. I TRUST YOU!
Friday, January 12, 2007
MY NIGHTMARE PUT INTO WORDS……the story from the beginning…
Home for Christmas 2006. We had just announced to the world through our Christmas card that we were expecting. I was into the second trimester, and we had heard the heartbeat on 2 separate occasions. I had completely popped and was starting to fit well into maternity clothes. I look pregnant in all the Christmas pictures. Baby #4 was coming. He was due June 25th, but probably would have been induced around the 18th, one day after my 30th birthday. I even thought I was beginning to feel movement…..
I had one night where I cramped a bit when we were by my sister’s house in IN, but I really didn’t think much of it. There was no bleeding, and it was short-lived.
We left IN for home Sat., Dec. 30th. Little did I know what nightmare lay ahead of me. Fargo, ND. We stopped in the middle of the night for gas. I got out to use the bathroom only to find that I started bleeding…a lot. I started crying to the point of sobs. I walked out of the gas station and frantically told Evan I was bleeding badly. He rushed to the local ER, (which was NOT easy to find) where I was the only patient. They couldn’t find a heartbeat with the dopplar – 2 nurses tried for a long time, so they ordered an ultra sound. The technician said before she started that she couldn’t tell us anything and had to wait for the doctor. In my heart, I knew at that point. I asked to see the screen. She made the comment, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” At that point, I really knew, but hadn’t accepted it. The baby wasn’t moving.
The doctor told us the horrendous news, which finalized our thoughts. “The u/s didn’t look good.”
We decided to keep pressing on towards home. Who knew how many hours still lie ahead….10, 12, probably more. Morning was just around the corner at this point. The roads were bad, but we plugged along. It was the hardest drive I’ve ever had in my life, and hope I never have to repeat anything even remotely like it. We sobbed, cried and had so many questions. The good thing was, it gave us time to process and talk.
Stopping in Jamestown, ND b/c the roads were drifted and icy, we ate breakfast at Perkins. Deciding to press on, despite the horrible roads, the sun was shining.
We made it home around 5pm. God has answered my prayers to please, at least let everything happen at home.
Josiah was born at 2:30 am on Jan. 1, 2007. He had 10 fingers and beautiful eyes. He was all there, formed by his creator in my womb. He was b/t 2-3 inches long. We just held him and cried. Evan was my rock through the whole thing. He never left my side and was literally my “Jesus with skin on” that night. His arms were God’s arms wrapped around me. His hand rubbed my back through the physical pain of the labor I had to bear through it all. He cried with me and held me.
We wrapped Josiah up, not exactly sure what we were going to do with him; but knowing there was no way we could just “flush the sack” like the ER doctor said, in as kind of way as possible. Josiah was not a sack. He was all baby, and a life given to us for 15 weeks. Yes, he had died at 11 weeks, but we had him for 15.
Going back to bed, the grieving began. I wept for hours. The tears never ended. It hurt. I wondered where God was, only to realize he was using Evan to be his arms. Joel came to our bed and fell right to sleep. That was a comforting moment. I have 1 son with me yet.
I didn’t get out of bed much the next day. Evan was the rock the kids needed. He had strength that could only have been from God. And yet, I saw him grieve. We cried together.
We had one final moment with Josiah’s body. We unwrapped him, thanked the Lord for him, and poured over him one last time. We even showed his little body to Myah and Joel, and I’m so glad we did. We looked at every little at every little body part one last time just amazed at God’s handiwork. We said goodbye.
Not exactly sure what to do with his body, we had prayed for guidance. We didn’t have peace about burying him here as we just aren’t sure we’ll always live in Hardin. I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving him behind.
Taking the advice of a good friend, we called the local funeral home. Evan got the right person on the phone (another answer to prayer) who had been through a miscarriage 20 years earlier. He was so understanding and said they would do a cremation for a minimal fee. This would allow us to put any ashes into Josiah’s box and keep his memory with us wherever we go.
Josiah, our second son, our fourth child is in heaven. He will always hold that slot. But he has the privilege of being the first one to meet Jesus face to face. Oh how I long for that day myself.
Each day gets a tiny bit easier. I still cry, but am slowly beginning to function again. I made my bed today, only to crawl back in an hour later…. I finally unpacked the suitcases from our trip. I helped Evan with the kitchen duty and picking up a bit, but now I’m back in bed. Baby steps, one at a time.
The love people have poured out is amazing. Flowers at the door, meals brought in and delivered. Every ounce of it means the world to me. We didn’t lose a fetus. We lost a child. Knowing that other people understand that and realize that is extremely important.
I love my son more than words can say. A piece of my heart will always be missing now. I will heal physically and Lord willing, I’ll even bear more children, but I will never again listen to a woman tell of her miscarriage without pain and probably tears. Nor will I neglect to give her a hug knowing the pain she has endured.
My prayer is that no one I know will ever have to experience this, but if this pain comes your way, embrace it. Hold onto the preciousness of it. Celebrate the life that God blessed you with, even if it was for a short time.
I’m going to go hug my other children now and praise the Lord for using us to be His vessel to bring one more soul into the kingdom of heaven.
I look forward to meeting you face to face, Josiah. There is a special place in my heart that is only for you. Thank you for being my son. I love you more than words could ever express and miss you dearly. I know you’re in good hands though…………
****************************************
This was written January 3, 2007.
Home for Christmas 2006. We had just announced to the world through our Christmas card that we were expecting. I was into the second trimester, and we had heard the heartbeat on 2 separate occasions. I had completely popped and was starting to fit well into maternity clothes. I look pregnant in all the Christmas pictures. Baby #4 was coming. He was due June 25th, but probably would have been induced around the 18th, one day after my 30th birthday. I even thought I was beginning to feel movement…..
I had one night where I cramped a bit when we were by my sister’s house in IN, but I really didn’t think much of it. There was no bleeding, and it was short-lived.
We left IN for home Sat., Dec. 30th. Little did I know what nightmare lay ahead of me. Fargo, ND. We stopped in the middle of the night for gas. I got out to use the bathroom only to find that I started bleeding…a lot. I started crying to the point of sobs. I walked out of the gas station and frantically told Evan I was bleeding badly. He rushed to the local ER, (which was NOT easy to find) where I was the only patient. They couldn’t find a heartbeat with the dopplar – 2 nurses tried for a long time, so they ordered an ultra sound. The technician said before she started that she couldn’t tell us anything and had to wait for the doctor. In my heart, I knew at that point. I asked to see the screen. She made the comment, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” At that point, I really knew, but hadn’t accepted it. The baby wasn’t moving.
The doctor told us the horrendous news, which finalized our thoughts. “The u/s didn’t look good.”
We decided to keep pressing on towards home. Who knew how many hours still lie ahead….10, 12, probably more. Morning was just around the corner at this point. The roads were bad, but we plugged along. It was the hardest drive I’ve ever had in my life, and hope I never have to repeat anything even remotely like it. We sobbed, cried and had so many questions. The good thing was, it gave us time to process and talk.
Stopping in Jamestown, ND b/c the roads were drifted and icy, we ate breakfast at Perkins. Deciding to press on, despite the horrible roads, the sun was shining.
We made it home around 5pm. God has answered my prayers to please, at least let everything happen at home.
Josiah was born at 2:30 am on Jan. 1, 2007. He had 10 fingers and beautiful eyes. He was all there, formed by his creator in my womb. He was b/t 2-3 inches long. We just held him and cried. Evan was my rock through the whole thing. He never left my side and was literally my “Jesus with skin on” that night. His arms were God’s arms wrapped around me. His hand rubbed my back through the physical pain of the labor I had to bear through it all. He cried with me and held me.
We wrapped Josiah up, not exactly sure what we were going to do with him; but knowing there was no way we could just “flush the sack” like the ER doctor said, in as kind of way as possible. Josiah was not a sack. He was all baby, and a life given to us for 15 weeks. Yes, he had died at 11 weeks, but we had him for 15.
Going back to bed, the grieving began. I wept for hours. The tears never ended. It hurt. I wondered where God was, only to realize he was using Evan to be his arms. Joel came to our bed and fell right to sleep. That was a comforting moment. I have 1 son with me yet.
I didn’t get out of bed much the next day. Evan was the rock the kids needed. He had strength that could only have been from God. And yet, I saw him grieve. We cried together.
We had one final moment with Josiah’s body. We unwrapped him, thanked the Lord for him, and poured over him one last time. We even showed his little body to Myah and Joel, and I’m so glad we did. We looked at every little at every little body part one last time just amazed at God’s handiwork. We said goodbye.
Not exactly sure what to do with his body, we had prayed for guidance. We didn’t have peace about burying him here as we just aren’t sure we’ll always live in Hardin. I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving him behind.
Taking the advice of a good friend, we called the local funeral home. Evan got the right person on the phone (another answer to prayer) who had been through a miscarriage 20 years earlier. He was so understanding and said they would do a cremation for a minimal fee. This would allow us to put any ashes into Josiah’s box and keep his memory with us wherever we go.
Josiah, our second son, our fourth child is in heaven. He will always hold that slot. But he has the privilege of being the first one to meet Jesus face to face. Oh how I long for that day myself.
Each day gets a tiny bit easier. I still cry, but am slowly beginning to function again. I made my bed today, only to crawl back in an hour later…. I finally unpacked the suitcases from our trip. I helped Evan with the kitchen duty and picking up a bit, but now I’m back in bed. Baby steps, one at a time.
The love people have poured out is amazing. Flowers at the door, meals brought in and delivered. Every ounce of it means the world to me. We didn’t lose a fetus. We lost a child. Knowing that other people understand that and realize that is extremely important.
I love my son more than words can say. A piece of my heart will always be missing now. I will heal physically and Lord willing, I’ll even bear more children, but I will never again listen to a woman tell of her miscarriage without pain and probably tears. Nor will I neglect to give her a hug knowing the pain she has endured.
My prayer is that no one I know will ever have to experience this, but if this pain comes your way, embrace it. Hold onto the preciousness of it. Celebrate the life that God blessed you with, even if it was for a short time.
I’m going to go hug my other children now and praise the Lord for using us to be His vessel to bring one more soul into the kingdom of heaven.
I look forward to meeting you face to face, Josiah. There is a special place in my heart that is only for you. Thank you for being my son. I love you more than words could ever express and miss you dearly. I know you’re in good hands though…………
****************************************
This was written January 3, 2007.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
JOSIAH
"God will save"
"God supports"
Born/Died January 1, 2007 2:30 am
***************************************
My heart breaks today;
there is a hole there.
I do not understand,
but I know that You care.
The pain is so strong;
the tears never end.
I do not understand,
but I know I will mend.
"Why God, why?"
are some of my thoughts.
Will I ever understand?
I know that I ought.
My view is so skiewed,
while Yours is so grand.
My picture so small,
so on You, I will stand.
Walk me through this, Lord;
I can't be alone
My heart is still breaking,
and often I moan.
Hold me close
and hold him, too.
My son, I know,
is home with you.
Written January 1, 2007 through tears and a broken heart. A miscarriage is more than losing a "fetus" as they call it. It's losing a child. My heart breaks for every mom who has ever experienced it, for truly it is only those who have gone through it that understand the pain. I never understood before, but I do now. My prayer is that if you're one who doesn't understand, that you never will have to.
I will get through this. I know that I will. And thanks to all of you who have been praying. PLEASE DON'T STOP! It's the only thing getting us through this. That and the precious thought that my little baby Josiah is the first of our family to see Jesus face to face. I praise the Lord that God used us to be a vessel to get one more soul into the kingdom of heaven, even if we could only keep him for a short time. I sure can't wait to join him in worshipping our Savior in all His glory! I look forward to spending eternity with you, my son, though I do miss you dearly. More than words describe....I love you.
"God will save"
"God supports"
Born/Died January 1, 2007 2:30 am
***************************************
My heart breaks today;
there is a hole there.
I do not understand,
but I know that You care.
The pain is so strong;
the tears never end.
I do not understand,
but I know I will mend.
"Why God, why?"
are some of my thoughts.
Will I ever understand?
I know that I ought.
My view is so skiewed,
while Yours is so grand.
My picture so small,
so on You, I will stand.
Walk me through this, Lord;
I can't be alone
My heart is still breaking,
and often I moan.
Hold me close
and hold him, too.
My son, I know,
is home with you.
Written January 1, 2007 through tears and a broken heart. A miscarriage is more than losing a "fetus" as they call it. It's losing a child. My heart breaks for every mom who has ever experienced it, for truly it is only those who have gone through it that understand the pain. I never understood before, but I do now. My prayer is that if you're one who doesn't understand, that you never will have to.
I will get through this. I know that I will. And thanks to all of you who have been praying. PLEASE DON'T STOP! It's the only thing getting us through this. That and the precious thought that my little baby Josiah is the first of our family to see Jesus face to face. I praise the Lord that God used us to be a vessel to get one more soul into the kingdom of heaven, even if we could only keep him for a short time. I sure can't wait to join him in worshipping our Savior in all His glory! I look forward to spending eternity with you, my son, though I do miss you dearly. More than words describe....I love you.
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