YOU ARE MY ROCK
YOU ARE MY STRENGTH
YOU ARE MY SHIELD

Those are the words that I kept repeating over and over and over through this past week. While Evan had first taken Kiana in to our local hospital, I had waited at home with the other 3 kids. Those words were my comfort, along with several of the Psalms. I had been reading about how even as the mountains surround Jerusalem, so does God surround us for protection. I clung to that.

When we were in the ambulance on our way to the larger Billings hospital, I still kept whispering "You are my rock, strength, shield," when it suddenly hit me. I felt like the Lord impressed, "I AM your rock. I AM your strength. I AM your shield. I AM. I AM THE I AM." God is so good. He is always there in our darkest moments. It is HE who carried me through the scariest moments of this past week. His peace is amazing. He is the I AM!

SOME CUTE HOSPITAL STORIES

(That helped me get through this awful week!)

After they started to lighten up on Kiana's medication, she would sort of "come to" a little. The first time she did, her eyes were only slitted open, but she lifted her foot and pointed at her toe! She thought it was the coolest thing ever that her toe glowed. She kept looking at it. That is, until our last full day in the hospital. Then she kept pulling the thing off. This read her O2 levels, so it was one of the most important monitors she had.

Once we were out of ICU and she was completely alert, just a little bit grumpy due to the steroid treatments, whenever a nurse would walk in her room, she would grab her butterfly blanket, pull it completely over her head and hide. She would hold on to it so tightly that it would be hard to get to her. She was so tired of being poked and having tape pulled off her skin. At one point she had 2 vein IV's, 1 artery IV, her heart monitors (3 stickers), her O2 monitor, her feeding tube, her respirator tube and arm restraints to keep her from pulling anything out! It just broke my heart b/c she couldn't talk to us and she would just squeak out little tears from her eyes. Made mommy cry, too.

After she had been on the feeding tube for a few days, she randomly told the ICU night nurse that she "had pizza last night". She has since asked to have pizza for her birthday party this next weekend! :) We're going to celebrate BIG!

Thanks to many of you, Kiana received some very cute stuffed animals at the hospital. Often times, when she had the respirator tube in and couldn't talk, she would just point to each one. She had to have all of them in her arms at the same time. (Thus the picture in the previous post.) The littlest one, a llama, she had to have in her hand so she could squeeze. Every time one would come and she would "wake up", her eyes just lit up, so thank you! The moment she realized these were all hers to take home with her, she could hardly believe it!

Kiana has her own ways of dealing with things. She's a strong little girl, but so stinkin' cute you can hardly handle it some days. Shortly after we got home, I heard things being thrown down the stairs. I went to look and she was throwing anything that had to do with the hospital down the stairs. Her frog blanket she got from the volunteers, her balloons and even a few stuffed animals. If it had to do with the hospital, she didn't want to have anything to do with it. She has since gotten over this and loves her animals and balloons again.

PICU

It's been a week. I'm not even sure where to start, so this post will probably just be the first one to explain it. What matters is that God is good. We still have our daughter, after a very scary incident, and though she is exhausted, a little grumpy and still coughing, she is close to being back to normal. I do know she is happy to be back home, and so am I.

Kiana had an ambulance ride to Billings after being intubated because she couldn't breathe well very late Monday night/early Tuesday morning. They put her in pediatric intensive care for 3 days where she was on the respirator for about 30(+/-) hours. She was given paralytic medicine, along with morphine and one other kind to keep her sleeping and immobile during that time. She was on a feeding tube while the machine did her breathing for her. They were waiting for the swelling in her throat to go down, which is what caused her inability to breathe. She had a very severe case of croup.

It's weird because you just never think it's going to be your kid. Praise God for medicine, amazing people who know how to care for sick people, and for the enormous amount of support we had from so many people who care. (That's an entire post in itself.) Amazing friends, Dwight & Rachel -- who moved in our house in the middle of the night to watch Myah and Joel for an unknown (at that time) amount of time -- Tandra, Jeanie & Cammie, who spent hours loving on Aden in a couple of available rooms in the hospital, so that I could feed him every 3 hours, but still be with Kiana. (He wasn't allowed on the floor b/c of RSV being so rampant right now...) Pastor Wayne -- who was there right after I called, only to make us a huge delicious breakfast and give us a rest time before heading back to the hospital after a very long night. Mark, Cammie & family -- who opened their home to Aden and I for sleep, food and childcare, while Evan stayed at the hospital with Kiana. Jodi -- who brought us clothing from home along with support & love. Aaron & Jamie -- who lead the Thursday night Bible study. Bonnie -- for bringing treats to our family while we were gone. So many more people who called to offer help or came to visit. And SO MANY people who prayed our little girl through this ordeal. Countless cards, stuffed animals, notes, balloons, etc. Thank you all. Words cannot express....


I have some stories to share in the future. Some made me laugh (like glowing toes, needing every animal in her arms at the same time & supposedly eating pizza while on the feeding tube). Some made me cry -- which I did a lot this week. But today, I just praise the Lord. I thank Him with all my heart. He is the ultimate healer. He lent to us our daughter for more time. Life is so fragile. It's incidents like these that really give a person perspective.