"The Flavor of Joy"

I was reminded last night about the need for JOY in parenting after a difficult day home with my kids. I must confess I didn't have the best of attitudes yesterday and was pretty grouchy and self-centered much of the day. Attitudes like that obviously seep out onto the children's attitudes as well and before you know it everyone is grumpy, selfish and having a bad day. I went to bed last night, and even though it was very late, I was pretty wired with the events of the day flooding my brain and had a difficult time falling to sleep. I picked up the book on my nightstand and opened to a section called "The Flavor of Joy". (The book is called "No Greater Joy Volume 3" by Michael and Debi Pearl. Published by No Greater Joy Ministries, Inc. Check out my links for their website. I would highly recommend their materials to any parent.) Anyway, I'm going to quote some of the sections that blessed and convicted me all in one.

Parenting, like courtship, must be properly seasoned with joy. Parenting without joy is not only tasteless, it is tiring. Joy is more than the fragrance of the moment; it is the energy required to live life to its fullest. Parenting without joy is like music without rhythm or flowers without color. A joyless parent can no more raise happy kids than a skunk can raise skunklets that smell good....

Some parents are joyless regardless of the circumstances. They may not be angry or unhappy, just joyless. Look at it as a scale, with anger and bitterness on the far left, a stable and sedate personality in the middle, and joyfulness on the far right. Granted, children do far better with deadpan parents who have no joy than they do with angry or bitter parents, but they do best when both parents are known for their joy....

A little girl who gets up with a chip on her shoulder should meet a smiling mother who is undaunted in her expressions of delight. If the child is not soon overcome with joy, don't let her alter the mood of the family. She should be the odd one; she should cut herself out of the fun with her attitude. If a grumpy child can change the atmosphere to reflect her bad mood, then, in her estimation, her grouchiness is justified....

Children thrive on joy. They will do anything for someone who enjoys them. Parents have asked me, "What is the first step to recovering what I have lost with my children?" Many times I have answered, and I have never found a need to revise it: "Look into the face of your child and smile." Let your child look into your face and see someone delighting in their presence. Don't withhold your joy on the condition that your child earn your smile. Who deserves a good friend? Who deserves the Savior's love? Smile your children into obedience, and you will find that the rod is seldom necessary. Become the Pied Piper of joy. You won't have to drive them if you give them something worth following. Don't just smile at your kids; smile into them; smile through them. Let joy flow, and your family will be swept along in the current.

Needless to say, I confessed to God and sat my children on my lap this morning and confessed to them my wrong from yesterday. Today hasn't been perfect, but it has been SO MUCH better than yesterday. Instead of anger and frustration spreading, there have been more smiles and yes, even joy, today. Thank you, Lord!